Album Lyrics

Spoken Word Intro

My PTSD was getting worse...
I was searching for a way out.
A friend knew a man who practiced hypnosis.
I went in looking for my childhood...
But the journey didn't stop at the playground.

Intro

Into the dark, he led me,
Through the woods where the crow watches from above.
The abandoned house stood dark and waiting,
And the stairs descended far below.
A voice that turned the hidden key.
Unlocking every door inside my mind,
Into depths no living soul should breach.

Verse 1

A hallway stretching into shadow,
No end in sight, no ceiling, no sky.
The doors line both sides like sentinels,
Their plaques burn gold in the dark.

Words I could not comprehend,
Yet my lips spoke every sound.
The same tongue my wife heard weeping,
When I cried out to heaven in my sleep.

Pre-Chorus

A hand reached out and seized my wrist,
A voice like stone and light combined.
"This door is not for you to open."
But the voice of men pushed past the divine.

Chorus

The forbidden doors
Line the halls of what I am not meant to see.
The forbidden doors
Hold the weight of every broken thing.
I opened what was sealed,
I felt the world's wound bleed through me.
The forbidden doors—they nearly swallowed me.

Verse 2

The first door opened into darkness,
A cave where shadows moved like breath.
They crawled the walls like living hatred,
Ten thousand forms of death.

Then one came rushing from the blackness,
Straight to my face—straight to my soul.
And in that moment, everything was given,
Every wound the world has ever known.

Every murder, every broken child.
Every war, every silent cry.
The hatred and the misery all at once,
Crushed into me—I could not survive.

Chorus

The forbidden doors
Line the halls of what I am not meant to see.
The forbidden doors
Hold the weight of every broken thing.
I opened what was sealed,
I felt the world's wound bleed through me.
The forbidden doors—they nearly swallowed me.

Verse 3

The next door opened onto children,
From every age and every land.
Playing in the light of something holy,
Clothed in every generation's hand.

From ancient linen to the modern day,
They laughed as if no darkness ever came.
I stood there at the threshold, barely breathing,
And closed the door, and wept, and bore the weight.

Verse 4

Then came a door that opened into everything,
A chamber filled with light that moved and spun.
Ten thousand orbs of souls not yet descended,
Each one waiting, each one yet to come.

I did not know its name when I stood looking,
And yet the knowing rose up from somewhere deep.
The Guf—the Hall of Souls—the place of the unborn,
A memory I was not supposed to keep.

I had been there.
I had been among them,
Before the breath, before the blood, before the bone.
And standing at that threshold, I remembered,
What it felt like before this world was home.

Pre-Chorus

The angel's eyes grew dark with warning,
His arm thrust out across my way.
"You do not belong here—stop now.
You were never meant to stay."

Bridge

Then the last door parted wide,
Rows of wings on either side,
Whispering among themselves of the demise.
An angel knelt before the throne of light,
While another read aloud the case.
And the one who tried to stop me,
Stood among them, watching, still in place.

The voice of man said, "Step inside."
I crossed the threshold, sealed my fate,
And all of heaven stopped dead in its time.

Silence like thunder.
A thousand heads turned.
The weight of every gaze,
The cold flood of dread.
The one who was kneeling,
Slowly turned to see—
And the face in the trial,
Was looking back at me.
Not a stranger, not a shadow...
That kneeling face, was me.

Chorus

The forbidden doors
Line the halls of what I am not meant to see.
The forbidden doors
They bear the names of those who kneel in shame.
I crossed the holy threshold,
And I saw my face upon the condemned.
The white light took me,
And I have never been the same.

Outro

I do not know what judgment I had witnessed.
I do not know the language that I spoke.
But the angel's grip was real upon my arm,
And every door I opened, cost a piece of me.

How can this all be real?
Am I crazy? Am I insane?